Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Liking "Fifteen" at 41... Duh?

I'm like, addicted to the songs of Taylor Swift. I know, I know, it may sound and seem off for someone who is into her 40's to dig Love Story, Untouchable, White Horse, Forever and Always, You Belong With Me and Fifteen. But, when I got to bring to the office my 10-year old daughter's IPOD (that used to be mine) and listened to the downloaded songs in it, Taylor Swift's songs have become instant hits to my ears.

Listening to Fifteen even made me teary-eyed. I was contemplating on its lyrics when it hit me. Our 10-year old daughter will be fifteen soon. By that age, she will experience having her first crush, her first puppy love (hopefully, not yet), and her first heartache. Oh, if only I could shield her from those "pains".

Fifteen Lyrics
You take a deep breath and you walk through the doors
It's the morning of your very first day
You say "Hi" to your friends you ain't seen in a while
Try and stay out of everybody's way
It's your freshman year and you're gonna be here
For the next four years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say
"You know I haven't seen you around, before"

'cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen
Feeling like there nothing to figure out
Well count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be

You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail
And soon enough you're best friends
Laughing at the other girls who think they're so cool
We'll be out of here as soon as we can
And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're mommas waiting up and you think he's the one
And you're dancing round your room when the night ends
When the night ends

'cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
When you're fifteen and your first kiss
Makes your head spin round but
In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy of the football team
But I didn't know it at fifteen

When all you wanted was to be wanted
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now
Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine

And Abigail gave everything she had to a boy
Who changed his mind and we both cried

'cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen, don't forget to look before you fall
I've found that time can heal most anything
And you just might find who you're supposed to be
I didn't know who I was supposed to be at fifteen

La la la la la .. la la la la la .. La la la la la

Your very first day
Take a deep breath girl
Take a deep breath as you walk through those doors.

How time flies, indeed. She used to be our little girl, all clingy and ever so dependent on me. Long before she even turned ten, I was already preparing and anticipating those times that she would have her own group of friends, attend sleep-over parties and be interested in some other things other than be with and cling to mommy. Those anticipations are now happening. Our little baby has her own world right now. It makes me sad, yet it makes me smile, too.

I was fifteen when I had my first puppy love, my first boyfriend. He courted me over the phone and I answered him over the phone. Our so-called relationship lasted for 8 months and the funny thing about our relationship was that he never got to hold my hand because we never went dating. I had never gone out with him. When we broke up, I felt sad and I think it was painful, too. I loved him the way I thought and knew how.

While I was drafting this piece, I got a phone call from my 10-year old daughter. She requested that I go home that moment. I asked her why, she said it was raining hard and she could hear loud thunders. She was afraid and just wanted me to be at her side. It made me smile. Maybe, that was God telling me and reassuring me that our big girl is still a little girl who needs her mommy, after all.

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